Boys, take notes

[Rosetta]

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN:

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs..
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN:

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash. Clinton resigns.
7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.

[anybody]

Originally Posted by Irina

**Okay, I got this from a facebook note, but most of the stuff is good. Some "tips" are :/ but I think it's a cute list so I'm posting it for all you computer nerds looking for girlfriends


________________________
Tips


Make friends with her friends. They may just tell her you're a great guy. Don't get involved with any of them, though.

Make the first move! Courage is attractive.

Profanity is not the answer to trying to look cool or tough.
Swearing isn't great you're not going to win any hands by being a potty mouth.

Smile. It's charming.

Stand up for her. If you see someone bullying her or just being a jerk to her, go up to them (in front of her) and say, "Hey, man, knock it off, okay?" Don't act all tough guy or anything. Just be confident.

Sometimes the ones that are not so popular are the best ones for you.

Compliments makes a girl feel good about herself and more willing to open up to you!

Joke with her. Doing that makes her sure that you are confident and have a sense of humor.

When conversing with her as well as other females, position yourself closer to her. No matter who the other person is, do it. It shows that you're into her. It's subtle body language.

Randomly walk up to her and give her a compliment and walk away. This will make her happy and become interested in you.

Give her a hug from behind and hold her for a few seconds. But don't be too clingy. Its really annoying when a guy wont leave a girl alone.

If you make fun of her she probably will not become interested, and might even become angry with you.



WARNINGS!!!

Don't look/speak about other girls when you're with her. It will make her jealous.

Don't try to be a "manly man." Women often like men more when they're willing to cry if they're sad, and willing to admit their mistakes. You cry too often though and you'll be fed to the dogs or black marked as "broho," meaning a "male ho." or JUST FRIEND

Don't talk about previous relationships! Even if she does it, just smile it off, passively change the subject, or crack a joke that will help her reflect. But don't talk about your ex's.

Don't flirt with other girls in her face if they flirt with you, passively let it go and don't react. This will both raise your curb appeal as well as make you seem decent and more desirable. Make sure that you don't make her feel lame when she is with you.

Don't be a full of yourself guy. A little bit of obvious insecurity will probably make her think you are less insecure.

Let the girl feel like they can trust you so it work well on both side.

While it is good to be her friend first, do not leave it like that for long, as you can easily become "just a friend."

I don't know why I didn't read this before.

I find this interesting 'cause something that I'm absolutely fascinated with is the mind. I'm a student of psychology.

Most of what she says is tested and proven but what you do and say really depends on how hot the woman is and all of what she mentioned is great on a 5 or a 6 but some of it would get you instantly shut out on a perfect 10.

Having personality is really the key to this whole thing. You can really boast your self in a woman's eyes if you have a since of humor. Even more if you can portray your personality to her you'll increase our chance with her a 100x. Do anything that will portray to her that you think very highly of your self.

You can't telegraph any interest in her until she telegraphs interest in you. Being a student in body language can really help you here 'cause if a woman likes you she will portray it through her body language. When I mention body language I'm not just talking about how she stands. I'm also talking about things she'll do. She will give you subtle hints like touching you and flipping her hair, ignoring her friends while you talk.

A sure fire sign that your on the right path is if she is actually paying attention to you. If her attention seems to be some place else and she starts looking away not really paying attention to you. Then you have no chance and no amount of trying is going to change that. Your not going to win her over so just walk away.

Something else Irina mentioned was staying out of the friend zone. This is actually really easy to get away from but has to be done early in the interaction. After she has telegraphed some kind of interest in you start touching her. No I'm not talking about groping her. I'm talking about light touching like touch her arm lightly with your finger tips while you talk. If she has on a necklace pick it up off her chest and look at it for a second or two and drop it. Put your hand out and let her take it then put her hand around your arm like your going to escort her some place. If you guys are sitting down put her hand on your leg. If she takes it away, no big deal. Wait a couple minuets and try again. The idea here is to get her comfortable with you touching her. Keep escalating it all the way up to kissing and beyond.

I'll stop here. I can go on for hours with this shit 'cause it is something that really fascinates the hell out of me. What I will leave you with is this.

Being a mature person is above and beyond anything else I've mentioned. A simple stragagy for becoming a more mature person is by stopping and asking your self if what your about to do is mature. Listen to your gut. If the answer is no then don't do it.

[TMSTKSBK]

What a boring day on both counts.

[TMSTKSBK]

Originally Posted by anybody

I don't know why I didn't read this before.

I find this interesting 'cause something that I'm absolutely fascinated with is the mind. I'm a student of psychology.

Most of what she says is tested and proven but what you do and say really depends on how hot the woman is and all of what she mentioned is great on a 5 or a 6 but some of it would get you instantly shut out on a perfect 10.

Having personality is really the key to this whole thing. You can really boast your self in a woman's eyes if you have a since of humor. Even more if you can portray your personality to her you'll increase our chance with her a 100x. Do anything that will portray to her that you think very highly of your self.

You can't telegraph any interest in her until she telegraphs interest in you. Being a student in body language can really help you here 'cause if a woman likes you she will portray it through her body language. When I mention body language I'm not just talking about how she stands. I'm also talking about things she'll do. She will give you subtle hints like touching you and flipping her hair, ignoring her friends while you talk.

A sure fire sign that your on the right path is if she is actually paying attention to you. If her attention seems to be some place else and she starts looking away not really paying attention to you. Then you have no chance and no amount of trying is going to change that. Your not going to win her over so just walk away.

Something else Irina mentioned was staying out of the friend zone. This is actually really easy to get away from but has to be done early in the interaction. After she has telegraphed some kind of interest in you start touching her. No I'm not talking about groping her. I'm talking about light touching like touch her arm lightly with your finger tips while you talk. If she has on a necklace pick it up off her chest and look at it for a second or two and drop it. Put your hand out and let her take it then put her hand around your arm like your going to escort her some place. If you guys are sitting down put her hand on your leg. If she takes it away, no big deal. Wait a couple minuets and try again. The idea here is to get her comfortable with you touching her. Keep escalating it all the way up to kissing and beyond.

I'll stop here. I can go on for hours with this shit 'cause it is something that really fascinates the hell out of me. What I will leave you with is this.

Being a mature person is above and beyond anything else I've mentioned. A simple stragagy for becoming a more mature person is by stopping and asking your self if what your about to do is mature. Listen to your gut. If the answer is no then don't do it.

Like hell any of that would work.

[TheOutkastDev]

Originally Posted by anybody

You can't telegraph any interest in her until she telegraphs interest in you. Being a student in body language can really help you here 'cause if a woman likes you she will portray it through her body language. When I mention body language I'm not just talking about how she stands. I'm also talking about things she'll do. She will give you subtle hints like touching you and flipping her hair, ignoring her friends while you talk.

I've heard about this a few times in the psychology classes I was forced to take.

The two I remember are, if she's into you, she'll slightly tilt her head when you speak, and her pupils will dilate. I've never noticed these which might explain why I am such a lonely, lonely man .

[anybody]

Yeah, I've read about that too.

I've never been to school for psychology but I have literally read over 100 books on the subject.

The mind is very powerful and the more I learn about it and understand it the more fascinated I become with it and to me the mind is the most attractive thing about a person.

[barfbag]

Originally Posted by J MaNN

Certain types of animals that mate with themselves.

Not monkeys !

[Irina]

Originally Posted by anybody

I don't know why I didn't read this before.

I find this interesting 'cause something that I'm absolutely fascinated with is the mind. I'm a student of psychology.

Most of what she says is tested and proven but what you do and say really depends on how hot the woman is and all of what she mentioned is great on a 5 or a 6 but some of it would get you instantly shut out on a perfect 10.

Having personality is really the key to this whole thing. You can really boast your self in a woman's eyes if you have a since of humor. Even more if you can portray your personality to her you'll increase our chance with her a 100x. Do anything that will portray to her that you think very highly of your self.

You can't telegraph any interest in her until she telegraphs interest in you. Being a student in body language can really help you here 'cause if a woman likes you she will portray it through her body language. When I mention body language I'm not just talking about how she stands. I'm also talking about things she'll do. She will give you subtle hints like touching you and flipping her hair, ignoring her friends while you talk.

A sure fire sign that your on the right path is if she is actually paying attention to you. If her attention seems to be some place else and she starts looking away not really paying attention to you. Then you have no chance and no amount of trying is going to change that. Your not going to win her over so just walk away.

Something else Irina mentioned was staying out of the friend zone. This is actually really easy to get away from but has to be done early in the interaction. After she has telegraphed some kind of interest in you start touching her. No I'm not talking about groping her. I'm talking about light touching like touch her arm lightly with your finger tips while you talk. If she has on a necklace pick it up off her chest and look at it for a second or two and drop it. Put your hand out and let her take it then put her hand around your arm like your going to escort her some place. If you guys are sitting down put her hand on your leg. If she takes it away, no big deal. Wait a couple minuets and try again. The idea here is to get her comfortable with you touching her. Keep escalating it all the way up to kissing and beyond.

I'll stop here. I can go on for hours with this shit 'cause it is something that really fascinates the hell out of me. What I will leave you with is this.

Being a mature person is above and beyond anything else I've mentioned. A simple stragagy for becoming a more mature person is by stopping and asking your self if what your about to do is mature. Listen to your gut. If the answer is no then don't do it.

marry me .

[anybody]

Wooh.. Slow down... What happened to being friends first? I don't even know you and your already demanding that I marry you...

[Irina]

Originally Posted by anybody

Wooh.. Slow down... What happened to being friends first? I don't even know you and your already demanding that I marry you...

16.m.texas

u??

[anybody]

Wow, your only 16? Aren't you staff on Defiance? Or used to be?

I've seen your name some where else but don't remember where.

[Irina]

Originally Posted by anybody

Wow, your only 16? Aren't you staff on Defiance? Or used to be?

I've seen your name some where else but don't remember where.

Man, way to play along with a joke Failure.


I'm not 16, and I was staff on Hybrid.

[Ronin Warrior]

Originally Posted by anybody

I don't know why I didn't read this before.

I find this interesting 'cause something that I'm absolutely fascinated with is the mind. I'm a student of psychology.

Most of what she says is tested and proven but what you do and say really depends on how hot the woman is and all of what she mentioned is great on a 5 or a 6 but some of it would get you instantly shut out on a perfect 10.

Having personality is really the key to this whole thing. You can really boast your self in a woman's eyes if you have a since of humor. Even more if you can portray your personality to her you'll increase our chance with her a 100x. Do anything that will portray to her that you think very highly of your self.

You can't telegraph any interest in her until she telegraphs interest in you. Being a student in body language can really help you here 'cause if a woman likes you she will portray it through her body language. When I mention body language I'm not just talking about how she stands. I'm also talking about things she'll do. She will give you subtle hints like touching you and flipping her hair, ignoring her friends while you talk.

A sure fire sign that your on the right path is if she is actually paying attention to you. If her attention seems to be some place else and she starts looking away not really paying attention to you. Then you have no chance and no amount of trying is going to change that. Your not going to win her over so just walk away.

Something else Irina mentioned was staying out of the friend zone. This is actually really easy to get away from but has to be done early in the interaction. After she has telegraphed some kind of interest in you start touching her. No I'm not talking about groping her. I'm talking about light touching like touch her arm lightly with your finger tips while you talk. If she has on a necklace pick it up off her chest and look at it for a second or two and drop it. Put your hand out and let her take it then put her hand around your arm like your going to escort her some place. If you guys are sitting down put her hand on your leg. If she takes it away, no big deal. Wait a couple minuets and try again. The idea here is to get her comfortable with you touching her. Keep escalating it all the way up to kissing and beyond.

I'll stop here. I can go on for hours with this shit 'cause it is something that really fascinates the hell out of me. What I will leave you with is this.

Being a mature person is above and beyond anything else I've mentioned. A simple stragagy for becoming a more mature person is by stopping and asking your self if what your about to do is mature. Listen to your gut. If the answer is no then don't do it.

ok i like what your saying, due to i myself, enjoying the study of the human mind, but there is somethings that makes things hard on people, like me, i dont have that gut dont do this you mention, i generally analyze the person and see how she would react to a simple joking nature and make a judgment there, i listen to my mind and heart not my gut, but i agree, seeing how someone responds to said things is the easiest way to find out what they like.

i guess it goes without saying a woman likes a guy thats interested in her, cause in my experience i would call myself a borderline asshole, but with the girls im with when i sit them down and show interest, its rewarding, not only in the relationship but the knowledge you gain from the significant other, i however, generate opinions on my own and think for myself, you can easily see when the person your with is getting bored of the relationship with body signals cause most often they wont say so out of care for your emotions....

im not in school or anything for psychology or for any kind of study of the human mind, but generally sitting someone down and seeing what kind person they are is mentally rewarding

[Admin God]

golf sucks tbh.

[Anti-Basic]

Girls are icky.

[TheOutkastDev]

Originally Posted by Irina

16.m.texas

u??

Someone's got Texas on her mind... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

[Admin God]

Originally Posted by TheOutkastDev

Someone's got Texas on her mind... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

she wants you. in a bad way.

[Irina]

Originally Posted by TheOutkastDev

Someone's got Texas on her mind... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Well the next joke was supposed to be everything's bigger in texas if he commented on the male thing, but he commented on age so he failed.

But now that I remember you're from texas I guess that saying doesn't apply to everything ;(

[Ronin Warrior]

Originally Posted by Irina

Well the next joke was supposed to be everything's bigger in texas if he commented on the male thing, but he commented on age so he failed.

But now that I remember you're from texas I guess that saying doesn't apply to everything ;(

well im not from texas and my man tool is something even a texan would be jealous of so that saying is untrue

[Anti-Basic]

Originally Posted by Irina

Well the next joke was supposed to be everything's bigger in texas if he commented on the male thing, but he commented on age so he failed.

But now that I remember you're from texas I guess that saying doesn't apply to everything ;(

owned .

[Hammerhand]

Originally Posted by Ronin Warrior

well im not from texas and my man tool is something even a texan would be jealous of so that saying is untrue

From what I hear, its only the Texans belt buckles that are big, so I wouldnt be bragging TOO much Ronin.

[Ronin Warrior]

i never said they would be jealous of how big or small i was but if you must know ive bought some enzyte so i can to be happy like tom

[Hammerhand]

So now you're gonna go retro with the clothes, woman, car, house, bowling team, hairdo and the big doofy grin? Wont do a thing to get women. Laughs maybe, but I dont think it'll help you score. But good luck anyway!

[Scarand]

these facebook notes are so stupid. its like people who make them think we're living in a fantasy world

Originally Posted by Irina

Make friends with her friends. They may just tell her you're a great guy. Don't get involved with any of them, though.

most chicks friends are

a) gay (if theyre guys)
b) want them (if theyre straight guys)
c) will try and fuck you (if theyre chicks)
or
d) retarded (guys or girls)

Originally Posted by Irina

Stand up for her. If you see someone bullying her or just being a jerk to her, go up to them (in front of her) and say, "Hey, man, knock it off, okay?" Don't act all tough guy or anything. Just be confident.

any guy that doesn't stand up for their girlfriend is a bitch. most guys who have enough nerve to start bashing a chick right in front of their boyfriend aren't going to back down when the boyfriend goes up and nicely say